Sunday, February 8, 2009

Nature’s Most Perfect All-Purpose Food Topping

This past Saturday I supported the kids’ school by attending a fundraising breakfast at the Jackson Applebee’s. An all you can eat pancakes, bacon and beverage affair (for just $5) to raise money for the upcoming 6th Grade Character Camp in May – which I will be attending.

During the devouring of morning sustenance and “eatin’ good in the ‘hood”, I became involved in a text/voice conversation with one of my radio brothers. He was basically complaining having to work so early on a Saturday morning after being out late the night before at a remote. It was falling on deaf ears with me, though. The previous night I had finally crashed at 2:30 AM after a marathon photo uploading and email session and was still up and alert by 6:45 AM to go to the breakfast. Part of the radio lifestyle – just got to suck it up, bra.

After a bit of trash talk, he made the comment “This would only be a good morning if I had some chocolate covered bacon.” He meant it purely in jest, but for whatever reason, I had to expand on it. After all, seeing that I am a radio person – and as we all know radio people think a little “left of center” – the though of chocolate covered bacon didn’t sound all that bad. In fact, the more my cerebral cortex dwelled on the thought, the more I began to crave chocolate covered bacon.

All that day I kept thinking about chocolate covered bacon and rationalizing in my mind why it would be good. After all, maple syrup tastes good on bacon, maple syrup is sweet, chocolate it sweet, so why not? Chocolate coverings on other things can be quite appetizing. Chocolate covered strawberries. Chocolate covered cherries. Chocolate covered peanuts. Chocolate covered pretzels. There is a unique emotional lift in enjoying chocolate drizzled on then licked off of things like ice cream, graham crackers, and your significant other when the mood is right.

My radio brother was working yesterday, so I had a plan. I went to Meijer and picked up bacon and milk chocolate morsels. Went to the station, cooked the bacon, melted the chocolate, poured the melted chocolate on top of the bacon, and then spread it evenly across all the slices. Then the moment of truth… I ate a piece.

I heard colors! I smelled mountains! It was the most climatic and orgasmic taste experience I have ever enjoyed!!! The salty taste of good hickory smoked bacon smothered in the deep, rich, intoxicatingly sweet taste of chocolate! My taste buds were totally immersed in a frantic and flavorful happy dance unlike anything I have ever experienced!!!

I took the rest of the bacon to my broadcasting compadre. He saw what I had prepared and his pupils dilated like someone who just did a huge bong hit of hashish. He grabbed a piece, popped it in his mouth, and began to devour. His eyes glazed over, his face relaxed into the biggest smile I have ever seen on a human, and the words “Oh, my God! This is awesome!!!” blurted out in between chews. He finished the plate in less than 2 minutes.

I think I have come across a huge opportunity here. Chocolate covered meat, poultry and seafood products! Chocolate covered hamburgers. Chocolate covered pork chops. Chocolate covered shrimp. Those chicken “finger” strips, chicken nuggets, and the like? Forget the breading. Just dip them in chocolate! And open a chain of restaurants called “Chocolate Now”, “Chocolate a la Chocolate”, or even “Choco-King”. Get the Swiss Miss girl (since I have a weakness for blonds) in a much better, totally hot outfit to be the spokesmodel.

I’ve had a taste epiphany! I’m on a roll now! Tomorrow for breakfast after the morning show, I’m having a chocolate covered bagel with cream cheese and lox.

The Greatest Live Albums Of All Time!

The art of the live album seems antiquated these days. Back in the 70s a good number of artists found their greatest success with live albums, enjoying multi-platinum sales and even spinning off radio hits, while other artists enjoyed their greatest artistic and critical successes with live albums as well.

However, somewhere along the line the live album essentially lost its power, becoming increasingly less of an artistic or commercial prospect and increasingly more like a mere collector’s item.

With background in the music industry and a few years in as a recording engineer, I have become not only an aficionado but a connoisseur of sorts of live recordings. To leave the confines of the perfect, acoustically tuned studio, take the equipment to a live venue and painstaking set up the perfect microphone placements, instrument and mix direct feeds, and make the recording not only shine with the venue’s unique acoustics, but also capture the event and all the unique artist/audience ambience and interaction that occurred, is true talent.

So with these criteria in mind, I have selected my top 10 live albums of all time. Some of my selections might surprise some of you, but my benchmarks for selection are a weighing across the whole live album experience – sound, artist performance, audience reaction and interaction. And, of course, feel free to comment on any that you think I should have in this top 10. But remember, there have been so many great live albums that picking a top 10 is an amiable task. So here goes:

#10 – Nat “King” Cole - Live At The Sands
Before you all say, “What up with this selection, Holder!”, let me reassure you I am still a rock boy through and through. However, this record is significant. This was the only live recording done of Mr. Cole performing at a venue (recorded January 14, 1960 at the Sands hotel in Las Vegas), although other “live” recordings are out there of his radio shows in the 1940’s and 1950’s. Originally released a year after his death, it was the first commercial live recording to utilize multi-track recording at the venue to isolate different elements for later mix tweaking – a first for Capitol Records. The selections are vibrant and you can hear the unique Rat Pack-styled accompaniment invoking the laid back energy of the band playing superb arrangements by legends Nelson Riddle and Dave Cavanaugh… and, of course, the true unique talents of Nat on vocals and piano.

#9 – J. Geils Band – Full House
A few may argue with me here, wondering why I picked this one instead of the much more pristine audio sound of Blow Your Face Out. Yeah, Full House was recorded in Detroit at the old Cinderella Ballroom, but that’s not my hometown pride showing preferential treatment here. It’s just a kick butt live album! Raw, raucous and exciting!!! Both Full House and Blow Your Face Out are great audio archives of J. Geils live (where they clearly felt at home), but Full House captures not only the frenzied craziness of Peter Wolf better, but the near insane leading to sheer concert climax of the crowd is a testament to the magic of a legendary live performance. Plus, the AOR radio staple “Whammer Jammer/Hard Drivin’ Man” is one of my favorite live jams of all time.

#8 – Jimi Hendryx – Band Of Gypsys
Ditching Noel Redding, Mitch Mitchell, and their Artie Ziff afros and aligning himself with bassist Billy Cox and the bruising drums of Buddy Miles, Band of Gypsys showcases Hendrix at his most visceral, as each vertebrae-shattering riff pays tribute to the dead bluesman that wrote the first draft of his musical blueprint. His 12 minute rendition of “Machine Gun,” is often regarded as one of the finest guitar performances of all-time, and it isn’t hard to see why. A mess of snarls, squeals and apocalypse, the song purposefully evokes visions of soldiers exploding in Vietnam. As he sings his deranged and drugged dirge, Hendrix seems to capture the spirit of the times at the precise moment when the idealism of the 60’s met the hung-over glaze of the “Me Decade.” Indeed, one doesn’t need to hear the whirling stomp of the third song “Changes,” to know that the end was near.

#7 – Talking Heads – Stop Making Sense
The central proposition of Stop Making Sense is essentially paradoxical—the world’s most awkward band getting comfortable in their own skin. Stop Making Sense features the Heads at their peak of confidence, using drum machines, set gimmicks, background vocalists, and an expanded band. Aside from essentially making Speaking in Tongues totally irrelevant by featuring superior takes of most of the album’s best tracks, the album features panoramic live takes on “Once in a Lifetime,” “Life During Wartime” and even the Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” that come dangerously close to equaling the classic originals. If their previous live album The Name of This Band is Talking Heads showed why Talking Heads were one of the best bands of the early 80s, Stop Making Sense showed why they were also one of the biggest.

#6 – MC5 – Kick Out The Jams
Yeah, I know… another Detroit band and Detroit recording locale. Something about live tracks recorded in Detroit make them exciting, frenetic and unique. Kick Out The Jams is unique in that it was released without a proper studio album to support it. However, the raw power of Kick Out the Jams nevertheless provided a blueprint by which all hard rock afterwards had no choice but to follow. On that Halloween night in 1968 the rhythm section of Davis and Thompson ploughed through eight breakneck beats, Fred Kramer and Fred “Sonic” Smith played their guitars into molten metal, and Rob Tyner screamed for a “testimonial.” This was punk that quite awkwardly burst out long before it was supposed to be born. And that’s just what MC5 wanted. “Kick out the jams, MUTHAF***AS!”

#5 The Who – Live At Leeds
Quotidian drama and combustible violence marked The Who more than any other 60s rock legend, so it should come as no surprise that they created the era's greatest live document as well. All that inarticulate adolescent yearning and pent-up fury spilled out in savage, lacerating takes on the hits "Substitute" and "My Generation," but the real distillation of the band's brutally self-abnegating ethos comes in their cover of "Summertime Blues," alternately indignant, hilarious, and physically punishing. A 1995 remaster amends several critical cuts, including absolute essentials "Tattoo," "I'm a Boy" and "A Quick One While He's Away," while a subsequent deluxe edition in 2001 would bring to light the remainder of the band's near-complete showcase of Tommy.

#4 Johnny Cash – At San Quenten
Cash's onstage banter during At San Quentin is just as valuable as the stripped-down, shit-kicking country tunes. On the essential 2000 reissue, the entire set is presented, painting a picture beyond the scope of the original LP release. Cash's everyman appeal shines through, and by the time he drops the angry, bitter "San Quentin" (twice in a row, no less), he and the prisoners are unified. These men would follow him to hell. In between, things get maudlin ("I Still Miss Someone"), funny (unlikely hit "A Boy Named Sue"), and religious ("He Turned the Water Into Wine"), but Cash never loses that connection. Cash wears the outlaw hat so convincingly because he has been there himself. Never before or since has an artist and audience bonded on a live recording so closely.

#3 – The Allman Brothers – Live At Fillmore East
Definitely the finest album of Southern rock ever, the original At Fillmore East even manages the same trick as Bitches’ Brew and A Tribute to Jack Johnson. Sure, the sublime “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” was one performance, but the reputation-making performances of “You Don’t Love Me” and especially “Whipping Post” are subtly woven from a couple of nights to stunning effect. To this day the Allmans remain one of the few admirable acts lumped under the “jam band” tag, and on arguably their best official live album they bring the collaborative impulse and intelligence of the best jazz to bear on blues, hard rock, country music, gospel and the then-nascent beast that is Southern rock.

#2 – Led Zeppelin – How The West Was Won
If you’ve ever wondered why almost every teenaged boy at one point or another regards Led Zeppelin as the greatest band to ever live, all you have to do is listen to the first 15 minutes of How the West Was Won, which features the heart-palpitating, spine-tingling crunching thrust of “Immigrant Song,” a raucous seven-and-a-half minute rendition of “Heartbreaker,” and the song that wins every 13-year old’s heart: “Black Dog.” Taken from two otherworldly shows from June 1972 and not released until 2003, the collection encompasses most of the group’s greatest songs from their first four albums. Compare the studio versions to their live renditions, though. As each note thrashes, flails and explodes like colorful fireworks into the wine-dark sky, you’ll find yourself hearing these songs anew—and wondering why they didn’t put this out far earlier.

#1 – Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band – Live Bullet
Go ahead, cry foul! Not only another Michigan act recorded in Detroit, but an event that I was in attendance at and witnessed the audio technocracy involved in the recording of this double album (the lion’s share of the tracks were recorded on September 5, 1975… my 18th birthday – what a way to celebrate!). However, this was THE album that took Ann Arbor’s Bob Seger from a local/regional artist to national fame. The tour was in support of Bob’s first true national release “Beautiful Loser” with the newly created Silver Bullet Band, and Live Bullet was the documentation of the “coming home party/coming out party” of Bob and the band. "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man", "Katmandu" and "Travelin' Man" are such vintage rock songs, and the energy of these three songs captured live are enough to get you up and movin'! "Turn The Page", an example of a song that was done better live than in the studio (originally on the pre-SBB studio album Back In ‘72), is a tune that I can never hear enough, the mood and honesty of the lyrics are stuff of legend – and one of the best live mixes of a song I have ever heard. The musicianship of The Silver Bullet Band really shines on this recording. “Bo Diddley” and “Heavy Music/Get Funky” feature one of the best rock drummers out of Detroit I have ever seen/heard/jammed with, Charlie Martin. Every song has its own story, with the lyrics being just as tremendous as the music itself. Live Bullet, to me, is one of those albums that have made a significant, positive mark on the history of Rock N' Roll.

Honorable Mentions:
Peter Frampton – Frampton Comes Alive
Bob Dylan - Bootleg Series, Vol. 4: Live 1966, “Royal Albert Hall” Concert
Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings
Van Morrison - It’s Too Late to Stop Now
The Jam - Dig the New Breed
Charles Mingus - Mingus at Antibes
Tom Waits - Big Time
The Band - Rock of Ages
Velvet Underground - Live: 1969
Joy Division - Les Bains Douches 1979

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A boy and his pet

Since the beginning of time, young boys have desired pets. However, once in awhile, the pet desired can be a bit out of our realm of understanding as far as an average pet.

I was not your 'average' boy growing up. Just ask my dad. He'll be sure to roll his eyes and say, "You've got that right!" I had a desired pet - a dachshund named Schätzchig (German for "Sweetheart"). Far from an average pet. Most of my friends had normal dog breeds - terrirer, Labrador, German Shepherd, Poodle - with normal names like Rover, Spot, Duke and Fifi. Not me. I had a wiener dog with a funny German name.

So when our Chocolate Lab, Cocoa, died this past summer, my kids were heartbroken. But, as kids are, they soon began to ask my ex and I if we could get another dog. The ex was not too keen on that idea.

My oldest twin boy Jason missed Cocoa the most. However, Jason has a unique taste in pets. Plus he has a "Dr. Doolittle" aire about him. He would capture fireflies, butterflies and frogs and was good at keeping them. He once caught a bird with his bare hands at age 4. As of late he has had some unique pets - crickets, hermit crabs and recently a box turtle.

So when Christmas came around, Jason asked for a pet. Not a dog, cat, hermit crab, turtle... or even a bird. He wanted a Leopard Gecko.

Jason first decided he wanted a Leopard Gecko this past summer not long after Cocoa died. I was doing a remote at the Oldtown Blues Festival for Classic Hits 92-X when an employee from the local pet store came down with a Monitor lizard. Jason was immediatly transfixed by the big lizard and began to ask the employee a ton of questions about the Monitor. The lizard guy told Jason that a good starter lizard to get would be a Gecko. Jason decided on a Leopard Gecko because "they look cool!"

So for this past Christmas, Jason got all the things he needed to keep a Gecko - terrerium tank, sand, heat lamps, dishes, calcium and all the equipment needed. Now all I have to get is the Gecko. I plan on doing this soon. Of course, the pet store where the Monitor Lizard guy works is the place Jason wants to get the Gecko, so that's where we will be purchasing it. After Christmas they ran out. A new shipment just recently came in, and now we are waiting for the 'observation period' to expire before the members of this new shipment of Geckos are available for purchase (one of the things I like about this pet store!).

And then, we can start a new chapter in pet history...a boy and his Leopard Gecko. Hopefully he won't name the thing Schätzchig.