Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Holy Grail of TV Has Lost Its Luster

Conan O’Brian’s swan song from hosting duties of “The Tonight Show” ended this past Friday unlike his beginning. Over the past couple of weeks, as the NBC debacle on what to do with its donut of programming around local affiliate news took center stage, Conan’s ratings went from a meager 1.7 million house holds to over 70 million tuned in to his farewell show this past Friday.

Mr. O’Brien’s triumphant exit’s ratings showed the most impressive outpouring of support for an entertainer in recent memory, and he recognized and thanked those supporting him in his farewell speech. But what he should have added to that speech was, “Where were you when I needed you?”

It’s obvious that Leno is not bummed in the least that he is being moved back to “The Tonight Show”. It seems as if the whole thing was planned all along on Jay’s part: “retire” from “The Tonight Show”; announce that you're moving to 10 PM, thus taking away attention from O’Brien’s transition to “The Tonight Show”; do a crappy job at 10 PM causing affiliates to cry the blues to the network, making them move you back to your previous time slot, pushing O'Brien's "Tonight Show" back to 12:05 AM (which as many have pointed out makes it no longer “The Tonight Show” but “The Tomorrow Show” or “The Next Day Show”), humiliating him into relinquishing “The Tonight Show”, which he did. And King Leno is back on his throne.

For many years, “The Tonight Show” was considered the Boardwalk/Park Place of television entertainment. The Holy Grail of shows. And the latest turf war between Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien was purely about this prime piece of media real estate. But, to be honest, to me, “The Tonight Show” is no longer the hallowed prized gig it once was.

Created in 1954 by Sigourney Weaver’s dad, Sylvester Weaver, “The Tonight Show” is the longest currently-running regularly scheduled TV entertainment program in the United States, and the third longest-running program in history. And in that amazing 55 year run, there have only been 5 regular hosts; Steve Allen, Jack Paar (who attended high school and got his first radio gig just down the road from Lansing in Jackson, Michigan), Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien. Out of these 5, the longest to be the host was Carson, and when I think of who embodies the essence of the show, Johnny Carson is the one who comes to mind.

This all is déjà vu from an earlier time when Johnny Carson announced he was retiring. David Letterman was to be the heir apparent, but it was Leno who would get the gig. Letterman, like O’Brien, wanted to carry on the legacy that Carson started. But that “Tonight Show” is gone…long ago…when Johnny left it.

When I was a kid, “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” was what older folks watched. When David Letterman wanted it, it was hard for me to fathom, because he had his own show called “Letterman”. Just as Conan O’Brien was known as “Conan”. It was never known as “Late Night”.

Even though I respect and admire the talents of both David Letterman and Conan O’Brien, I never thought either of them were suitable hosts for “The Tonight Show”. Letterman was long considered the “anti-talk show host”. Where Carson was congenial and accommodating, Letterman was rough, biting, abrasive, and had shows filled with freakish stuff like Monkey Cam and Sandra Bernhardt. Conan O’Brien, though less abrasive, shared Letterman’s sense of comedic rebellion.

Whether Letterman cares to admit it or not, he spent most of his time at “Late Night” on NBC making sure he never got the “Tonight Show” job he wanted by alienating the network brass at NBC (I remember him calling them “pinheads” and “weasels”). So it’s not a surprise that Conan O’Brien’s style didn’t work out on “The Tonight Show” either.

O’Brien appeals to a younger demo than the desired 25 – 54 year-olds “The Tonight Show” is geared to reach. A demo who instead of watching programs like “The Tonight Show” after their local news watch programs they recorded earlier on their DVRs. This same generation flocks to the Internet to watch programs on demand when they want to at their convenience instead of scheduling their lives around a network air schedule.

“The Tonight Show” legacy has now been tarnished not once, but twice. First with the Letterman-Leno fight and now with O’Brien pitted against Leno again. And because of that tarnishing and tainting, this will be the last battle for this turf. It is now damaged goods, and no longer the Holy Grail it once was. It’s just another piece of property on a network schedule that has been totally stripped of its luster, aura, appeal or mystique it once had. Just something else from my younger years that will never be the same again.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'm So Conflicted, I Can't Handle The "Tooth"

The new movie “Tooth Fairy” starring Dwayne (Don’t Call Me The Rock Anymore!) Johnson opens in theaters this weekend. My kids have already told me they want to go see it. However I am conflicted about whether I want us to go watch this movie.

The movie “Tooth Fairy” is set in Lansing, Michigan. That’s right, the wondrous metropolis where I live and work…the home of Q-106 and Classic Hits 92-X. The home of the infamous “Angriest Mayor in Amreica” Virg Bernero of CNN fame. Dwayne (Hey! I Said Don’t Call Me The Rock! So Stop It!!!) Johnson’s character is a hockey player for the fictitious NHL team, the Lansing Ice Dogs, who doesn’t believe in the Tooth Fairy. He winds up being “summoned” by the head Tooth Fairy (portrayed by Mary Poppins herself Julie Andrews) who makes him a Tooth Fairy and purported hilarity ensues.

My conflict is not with the premise of the Tooth Fairy. I know there is a Tooth Fairy. I listened to “The Continuing Adventures of The Tooth Fairy” on W4-FM in Detroit (when they were a rock radio station) portrayed by voice talent and former WCFL Chicago production guru Dick Orkin…who also did “The Adventures of Chickenman” (“He’s everywhere! He’s Everywhere!”). So I know there is one. Neither is it that Julie Andrews is the Head Tooth Fairy. Mary Poppins is magical and can easily be the Head Tooth Fairy. It isn’t even Dwayne (Look, I Keep Telling You, I’m Not The Rock Anymore!) Johnson wearing a tutu and sporting wings on his back.

The State of Michigan has had a very financially advantageous film incentive going for a few years now. The incentive gives generous cash breaks to movie studios to film their movies here in Michigan…one of the most generous incentive programs outside Hollywood. A number of great movies have filmed here and have taken advantage of these incentives: “Gran Torino” and “Youth In Revolt” to name a couple of recent successful ones.

However, in some sort of wacky infinite wisdom, the folks at 20th Century Fox (the movie studio who made “Tooth Fairy”), feeling that with the story being set in Lansing, and with Michigan having a great film incentive tax break, and with Michigan having an awesome track record of very successful films being shot here, decided to do the location shoots in…Vancouver!

In these tough economic times, one would think a company trying to make a product consumer-friendly to US consumers would avoid “out-sourcing” to a foreign country and take advantage of cost savings to help create jobs in the market that the company is wanting to sell its product in. Am I being nuts here?

Don’t get me wrong. I love Canada. The Fish Market in Windsor is the best place I have ever been to for tasty salmon. I grew up listening to the hits on the Big-8 CKLW. And if it weren’t for CBC TV I would have not had the opportunity to see Detroit Red Wings games on TV when I was a kid (before ESPN, Versus, and local Detroit TV carried the games). But when you can save a boatload of money by shooting Lansing scenes in Lansing, Michigan, why go to Vancouver? Vancouver looks nothing like Lansing.

Also, with the faux NHL team angle (Lansing Ice Dogs), shooting in Lansing would have made perfect sense. Michigan State University has the top-notch Munn Ice Arena and their hockey program has put out great NHL players like Buffalo Sabres’ goalie Ryan Miller and brother Drew (Red Wing forward), the Nashville Predators’ Adam Hall and others. And with the Detroit Red Wings just 60 miles down the road, there could have been some top-notch hockey action here in Michigan for the cameras to shoot. After all, Detroit is “Hockeytown”, and the Detroit Red Wings can kick the Vancouver Canucks butts any day.

But for whatever reason 20th Century Fox decided to shoot “Tooth Fairy” location shots in Vancouver. So, thusly I am conflicted. Lansing gets national and international exposure, yet the studio didn’t do that exposure true justice by allowing movie goers to really SEE Lansing in the movie. But because the kids want to see it, I will go. If for nothing else but to see how ridiculous Dwayne (For The Last Time, Stop Calling Me The Rock!) Johnson looks wearing a tutu.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

A New World Record Opens

Monday, January 4, 2010 marks the opening of the Burj Dubai, the new record holder of the world’s tallest building at a reported 2,600 feet – over ½ of a mile tall. The Burj Dubai tower contains 57 elevators that travel at speeds of up to 40 MPH, 1,044 apartments, 49 floors of office space and a hotel, can be seen from as far as 59 miles away and is estimated to have cost $4 billion dollars.

The former record holder, the Taipei 101 tower, pales in comparison to the Burj Dubai – standing at a mere 1,671 feet. However, the Burj Dubai as a man-made structure only beats the former world’s largest existing man-made structure, the KVLY-TV mast in Blanchard, North Dakota, by only around 600 feet.

One has to look at this accomplishment with sheer amazement. The history of tallest buildings and structures goes all the way back to 2600 BC and the building of the Cheops Pyramid in Egypt at a dwarf 481 feet, and the ranks of those beating it including cathedrals in Europe, the Washington Monument, the Eiffel Tower, the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building. The Empire State Building was the world’s tallest for over forty years until the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center. Since then, it seems every few years, a new world’s tallest emerges.

My amazement in the unbelievable height of the Burj Dubai is not in the accomplishment, but in the purpose of such an accomplishment. With Dubai nearly going bankrupt late last year and its property values dropping over 50% it seems a bit extravagant at a $4 billion price tag. Then there’s the location of it in the Middle East with terrorist concerns being on our minds in today’s world. If the bringing down of the WTC Twin Towers in NYC was horrific, imagine the bringing down of the Burj Dubai. And there’s that law of gravity thing: what goes up must come down.

I remember the story of the Tower of Babel in my Sunday School classes as a kid. Though the purpose of building the Burj Dubai is not the same as the purpose of building Babel in Old Testament times, the Burj Dubai has that “spiral” similarity to it like the artist depictions of Babel in my old Sunday School books.

So tomorrow, we will have a new tallest building in the world open for business. One has to wonder how long it will take architects, designers and builders to put up a taller one.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Where Have All The Snuggies Gone???

You remember Snuggies, right? Those blankets with sleeves? Well maybe they really weren’t a blanket per se. More like an extremely comfortable and very oversized sweatshirt. Well, now that Christmas is over, what happened to them?

Just the past month they were the talk of the Holiday shopping season. Everybody wanted one. They were all over TV, radio and the internet. Businesses, organizations, and even Alternative Rock bands ordered grosses with their logo printed on them for promotional items and marketing. One of my Facebook friends even Photoshopped themselves wearing one and put it up as their profile picture this past month. The world had gone Snuggie crazy.

And now…just one week after Christmas…I am hearing nothing about them. Not a peep. No exclamations of “I got a Snuggie for Christmas!” from family and friends. I didn’t even receive one.

What happened to the Snuggie fad? Did it go the way of the Spirograph, Lite Brite and Chia Pet? Is it because we can’t use them on airplanes after Muhhamed-Bob Flare Pants tried to blow up a plane with a bomb hidden in his underwear…probably using a Snuggie to hide what he was doing. Apparently, if the latter is the case, the Snuggie isn’t flame-retardant.

Has the Snuggie joined the ranks of other fad gifts? You know, like the Pocket Fisherman, Bubba the Singing Bass on a plaque, bread makers and shiatsu massagers? It didn’t even make any of the top popular Holiday gifts for 2009.

Well, it’s a New Year, and the Holiday gift season is past. Now we have 10 months to come up with the next hot gift idea…that hopefully will truly be a hot gift. And I have begun thinking already of what I could devise and manufacture for next Holiday season that will become the most talked about “must have” Christmas gift for 2010…

…the electric Snuggie!!! Could be even battery operated. And you can download apps onto it…

Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Year... A New Decade...

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade!

And before you fire off that email to me debating whether the new decade starts on 1/1/2010 or 1/1/2011 (like the debate 10 years ago about whether 2000 was really the beginning of a new millennium or was it 2001), is it worth wasting time on it? After all, the day you are born is 0 years old and the tenth anniversary of your birth you are 10 years old. You have been on the planet 10 years. Need I go on?

Anyway, back to the original topic…whatever it was. Oh, yeah…New Year…New Decade…

This past decade started out a bit strange. 1999 brought us the Dot Com Bust, the establishment of the Euro, Jack Kevorkian being found guilty of murder for assisting in a suicide, Lance Armstrong winning his first Tour de France and Boris Yeltsin resigning as leader of Russia paving the way for Vladimir Putin.

We entered 2000 with fear and trepidation, stockpiling food, gasoline, money and anything else we could get our hands on to prepare for the perceived Armageddon we called “Y2K”, which never came. With the century and millennium change, a lot of strange things happened. Like 5 planets, the Sun and the Moon all lining up in the middle of the year and the 2000 “hanging chad” presidential election between Bush and Gore.

The past decade shaped us as a more cautious people with the events of 9/11/2001, looking at those around us with more scrutiny and trepidation. We entered two wars, one in Afghanistan and one in Iraq; a déjà vu from the Vietnam days of sending our sons and daughters off to fight on foreign soil against an enemy not playing by “the rules”. But amidst all this fear, turmoil and uncertainty, we still we found ourselves able to grow and advance. The Internet grew with tremendous leaps and bounds; from being just a pipeline for email, Telnet bulletin boards and web surfing to a delivery vehicle for digital media, movies, music, telephone and video. Cell phones became more than just a phone to the point where today’s mobile phones are not even thought of for their purpose of being a telephone.

Of course, with such growth there are growing pains. Technology began thinning out job market sectors and new delivery options for receiving our information, slowly killing off the old delivery methods and vehicles. And, not learning our lessons from the Great Depression of the 1920s and 1930s, we once again lived lavishly and greedily on credit that we didn’t have the capability to afford, and are paying for it with the current economic crisis we carry into this new decade.

This past decade we lost some very iconic figures: Steve Allen, Jack Paar and Johnny Carson...the first three hosts of the Tonight Show on NBC…as well as Carson’s sidekick Ed McMahon, Charles Schultz, Tom Landry, Chet Atkins, Carroll O’Connor, Ted Williams, Ann Landers, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, Mr. Rogers, Rodney Dangerfield, Julia Child, Marlon Brando, Ray Charles, “Captain Kangaroo” Bob Keeshan, Johnny Ramone, Richard Pryor, Bob Denver, Pope John Paul II, Sandra Dee, James Brown, Don Knotts, Billy Preston, Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Evil Knievel, Bo Diddley, George Carlin, Hunter S. Thompson, Tim Russert, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy and Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

This past decade we also said goodbye to VHS tape, Analog TV, Kodachrome, Montgomery Wards, Woolworths and Farmer Jack (and “It’s Farmer Jack Saving Time”), In their place said we said hello to Blu-Ray DVDs, DTV and satellite TV options to cable, proliferation of digital cameras everywhere, and the rise of Kroger and WalMart. A lot of the “old guard” media outlets and delivery methods hit rough times this past decade as well; broadcast TV, terrestrial radio, the Compact Disc, newspapers and magazines…seeing numerous closures, bankruptcies, lawsuits and changes in programming, staff numbers and outlooks.

And now, time marches on as we enter a New Year and a new decade. We have elected the first black president and it seems we are moving forward into new territories with a unique mixture of hope, despair, sadness, frustration and doubt. Terrorism is still very much on our minds with the recent bomb attempt on Christmas Day on a plane landing at Detroit Metro Airport. The economy is still heavy on our minds with high unemployment, foreclosures, and a looming debt load.

However, the New Year and new decade also brings with it new hope; a fresh start to begin to enact positive changes for ourselves and others. Can we rise to this occasion? I know I will give it my best shot to do so. Recently a very good friend shared a quote from Walt Disney that will be my mantra for making 2010 the best year and decade ever:

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them”

A very Happy New Year and New Decade to you all! May you have the courage in 2010 to dream and hope for all the best this year and for new beginnings and better days! May you always have food for your table, water to quench your thirst, a place to hang your hat, and a year filled with smiles, laughter and love.