Face it, the life of a single dad is a very active one…filled with juggling the job, kids, social life (if you can have one), private time, creative time, and more, all rolled into one big human combo platter of one’s existence. This has never been as true as it has for me the past several months, thus the absence of new posts here lately.
I spend a good portion of time with my kids when they aren’t with their mother; 4 days a week and every other weekend. Some have said to me that I spend too much time with them, commuting from Lansing to Jackson 4 days a week, especially now that they are older and are becoming more independent. They want to be with me this much though, and I look at it as not an inconvenience but as an investment in their lives being the best dad I can be. However, this past weekend proved to be a whole new learning experience for me as a single dad to an 8-year-old daughter.
The twins went on their 7th Grade trip to San Antonio this past week with their mom, who went as a chaperon. They left on Wednesday and came back Sunday, thus leaving just me and Alyssa for the weekday visits and the whole weekend. One would think that it would be a breeze, with only one child to contend with versus three. But that isn’t necessarily the case, especially when the other parts of one’s life are in play as well.
On Friday Alyssa had a half day. However I had to work a full day to cover the production department. Thus I had to leave, drive to Jackson pick up Aly from school and take her back to work with me in Lansing for the afternoon. I let everyone know at work that I had an “assistant” that afternoon. We made the rounds to introduce Aly to everyone in the office, and she was a hit.
I then borrowed the Wii from promotions, hooked it up to a working TV I saved from a dumpster fate a couple months back (it was being thrown out because it wasn’t digital ready but works fantastic otherwise), and set up Aly in my office to have at it while I went and did the production work…periodically checking in every 15 minutes to make sure she was doing alright.
While I was off working Aly made out like a bandit. She got a Shrek hat, t-shirt and copy of the Shrek 4 soundtrack on CD from our promo guru Aimee. She set a new high score in her Littlest Pet Shop Wii game. And she had the greatest time…even without her brothers around to keep her occupied. She said, “You have the best job ever! You have a Wii at work and you get really cool stuff!” smiling from ear to ear. We celebrated a successful day at daddy’s work eating out at Baja Grill in Mason…one of our favorite places to go out to eat.
The weekend was a busy one. Saturday was a classmate’s birthday party in Jackson, then back to Lansing to go to the Lugnuts game that the kids’ school, Paragon Charter Academy in Jackson had purchased group tickets for…a double header complete with fireworks at the end, which she loved…complete with enthusiastic “oohs”, “ahhhs” and “wows”. Sunday we went back to the ballpark for a remote; Aly once again donning the “assistant” role. After the remote she wanted to go to the game so we went.
Of course, there is much more than just doing cool things to being a Super Hero Dad to an 8-year-old girl. You have to do the “uncool” things as well. Reminding her to pick up after herself after playing with toys or drawing pictures (something she loves to do). Making sure she brushes her teeth, helping her pick out clothes (being a guy with no idea of little girl fashion sense), helping her brush her very curly top head of hair without too much hassle.
When the weekend was over, after I took her back to Jackson to her mom and the twins and was getting ready to leave, she came up to me and gave me the biggest hug goodbye, saying “I had the best weekend, Daddy! I love you!”. My heart melted, as only the dad of a daughter’s heart could.
A good number of dads tend to not be involved in their kids lives much after a divorce, if at all. My oldest son and daughter did not have the luxury of time with their dad while growing up…part my fault, part their mother’s. But I have made strides to amend that by reaching out to them still to this day. And with the twins and Alyssa I will continue to be a big part of their lives, committed not to repeat the same mistake twice.
Yes I spend a lot of time with my kids. And I know that when they have grown they will remember the time I have invested in their lives and have happy lives as adults. And remember the Super Hero Dad that took the time with them and will always love them.
